The only time I had a real moment with a model


I remember this girl was way above my pay grade.  She was signed with Ford and yes she was legal, Jesus Christ.  This was back in 2009 when I started dabbling in photography.

We were in her apartment and I was just casually taking some polaroids for her portfolio before she was even formally signed by Ford.  She couldn’t pay me because she was broke at the time so she made me some shitty Campbell’s chicken soup which I pretended to like because, well she was gorgeous.  We talked for a while on the couch looking over the photos, casually joking and jostling with each other to the point where we did have a slight moment that lasted about a minute.  I was sitting on the couch and she was behind me.  She bent down and leaned her head against my shoulder, her cheek touching mine.  I turned and looked at her, our lips were practically almost touching, and my god, her lips were perfect.

Then I remembered I had to go away for a while and the feeling of dread kicked in and that really really fucking sucked.

So I just stopped, packed my things and left.

She’s married now with a kid and I couldn’t be anymore happy for her.


Be uncomfortable


Whenever there’s an uncomfortable situation that I can put myself in, I try my best to put myself there.  It builds strength and adaptability.

Usually I would not do a shoot like this because it’s just too grudgy low key art with almost no production budget at all.  I mean, I only used one Profoto Magnum reflector throughout the entire project.

But I liked it, it allowed me to hang out with people who I normally wouldn’t have a chance to be with.  Beatnik artists, grudgy artist that have completely different taste than I, but we all came together and made it work because creating art unites.  And once we’ve settled on a vision, nothing else matters.  We put aside our differences in taste and culture, to create and that’s a wonderful thing because we stop judging each other.