It wasn’t suppose to happen, we were going to miss each other by a couple weeks but since  I’m freelance I took control of my destin–er i mean, schedule and made it happen.

I really wanted to stand next to her in this photo, but alas it was my camera so I took the sides without making it too awkward for everyone else.  She’s the cutie in the glasses.

I like her a lot, she’s really smart, outgoing, confident and physically very attractive.  This is one definitely another who is above my pay grade in terms of a quality human being.  I just find her so interesting when she talks about her aspirations or even when she’s complaining about her life.  There was though, a sense of dread from not knowing how it would work out (which I was constantly thinking about while I was hanging out with her which probably came off as coldness on my part for most of the time that we were together.  I really didn’t loosen up until the very end of our time together)  If I was younger I would have dove into this in a heartbeat.  I want to still try my best to make this work because I think she’s worth it and there maybe more opportunities in Atlanta anyways.

Seeing her stride away at the airport after I dropped her off, the way she walked with her cute little hat on, her hips swaying side to side, walking with purpose…I don’t know, it was so endearing to me.  Like she was happy to go back home but knew she was going to see me again soon.  That we were both going to try.  That meant everything to me.

Why is that as we get older, we fear more as if we have more to lose from falling for someone who seems so right for us.  Shouldn’t we have nothing to lose?  Now that I think of it, work picked even more for me ever since I started talking to her in April.  Even though I had never met her or even talked to her on the phone, she put me in a good mood just through text messages, which made me enjoy everything else about life more, especially work.  I think as a creative, this feeling was reflected in my photographs.  The agencies seemed to like them more which in return meant more people sent to me.  In my line of work, it is important to feign happiness even if you’re not, or else it shows in the photographs.  For once I didn’t have to feign it, she made me happy on all fronts and this was all before I even met her.  After having met her, i hope I can do the same for her.

I wish I knew her two years ago when i was still considering places to move to in the Southeast.  I really hope this works out, but with all long distance relationships, I have only known failure and I don’t want the past to affect my thinking.

 

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